Eclipsed by His Glory

On Judgment.

2012-02-16T22:11:00.000-05:00

We've all heard it... "Judge not, lest ye be judged"

Let me say that the Holy Spirit himself is an incredible teacher.
When we open our heart to Him and say "Come have your way.."
He will.

When you find yourself blessed by the very people that you have judged, it will blow a hole in your system of thinking. It will bring a sting of tears. I don't want to make that same mistake twice.

I've been convicted on my tendency to place judgements on individuals and people groups.
Pretty much every time I've judged, I've come to find that I was too harsh in my opinions.
And I've been gently led to repentance. How sweet is our God.
I've had to eat words. I've had to say that I'm sorry.

On New Year's Day, my resolution for 2012 was "not to judge others".. to "be a woman who extended grace"

On that same evening, I heard it spoken by a pastor, Rob Mc Dowell, that resolutions are rooted in human effort. That when anything is rooted in human effort it will fail. By human power, we cannot keep our resolutions. But what we CAN do is lay our entire lives on the altar and ask the Lord to make us into what He will.

For me that was Profound.

Since that day, I've seen breakthrough.

Lord, please make me a woman of grace, as I take hold of You daily.

Beloved.

2012-02-11T14:27:00.002-05:00

In April of 2010, my friend Stephanie Swanson, posted on Facebook that her friends Dan and Michael were traveling to Uganda as Sixty Feet. I was intrigued. I immediately hopped over to their website and read the story that had caused them to take action. These words stung my heart with a physical pain:

"Outside Kampala there is a place where some of these abandoned, unloved and neglected children are kept. And this is where our story begins…
Not long ago a woman was on her way out of Kampala and drove past a dilapidated old sign that read “M”: Rehabilitation Center for Children. She was drawn to learn more about the place so she turned down a long, winding dirt road until she came to the end. To her horror, she found rooms of children locked up, young kids chained to windows, and even a 10 day old, malnourished and living in her own urine. She saw hundreds of children with little food and no supervision. As horrific as this was, on that day God began a glorious story of redemption for these children."

In the months and years that have followed, I have had the joy and the privilege of following the ministry of Sixty Feet in Uganda. Their hearts for orphan care and for pouring love and care into the people and country of Uganda are beautiful. When I opened my heart to the faces and the stories on their blog, the faces and the stories of these children would not leave me. I've said before and I'll say it again:

Sixty Feet has saved our lives ... by saving us from chasing the American ~~Dream~~ Nightmare.

It is because of Sixty Feet that our hearts have fallen in love with the country of Uganda. I feel an intense love for the country and the people. ( and I haven't even been there - YET ) I'm so thankful that I will have the opportunity to this summer.

But there are many children all over the world, like the ones that Sixty Feet ministers to, that are not able to be adopted for one reason or another. And the Lord is calling us to care for them.
Sixty Feet does not exist to facilitate adoptions. They exist to love on, pray for, and support the imprisoned and abandoned children of Uganda. They exist to get to them this most life changing message:

You. are. His BELOVED.

The Lord speaks to this in the book of Isaiah. There are so many encouraging words and instructions for us regarding "setting the captive free"..

While Sean was in Uganda, I had the incredible privilege of painting a canvas for Sixty Feet that will be produced by Glory Haus. This was a special time for me as the Lord revealed for me even more of his heart for the orphan, the enslaved, and the people laboring on their behalf. There was even a moment that week where I felt completely unsure of where I was headed with this canvas. At that very moment I happened to get an email from Sean where he poured out his heart to me about what he was experiencing. It was in that moment that I could literally feel a piece of how he felt as his life was forever affected for these children.

Here is how the canvas turned out. It is not ready for sale yet, but a very professional printed copy will be up for auction tonight at 60 feet's film premiere BELOVED.

(photo by Christen Fortner)

Is it possible to say that I am excited about tonight? Im terribly excited. It's been almost 2 years since the day I was led to www.sixtyfeet.org

The Lord has done SO MUCH. Above all, He has transformed lives. He has transformed lives in Uganda, but He has transformed MY LIFE, too.

You see, those behind physical bars aren't the only ones held captive. We, too, can be held captive -

- by our sin

- our worldly desires

- and our not knowing the freedom found in truly knowing His love for us.

As it says in Isaiah, "When you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry.."

You will find that YOU are HIS BELOVED, too.

Beginning in March, there will be more showings of BELOVED in and around the area.

I would LOVE for you to come and learn more about this ministry and how you can be a part of it, too.

Message me if you are interested.

laurakirkland35@gmail.com

Stepping out in Faith

2012-02-10T12:01:00.003-05:00

Well, my heart is really full again. Pressed down, shaken together, and running over. One month ago yesterday (1/9/12) We formally started our Home Study to Adopt. As I printed out the application and walked around Staples collecting some supplies for our binder and having some copies made, I was overwhelmed with the sense that I was walking in His will for our lives as I was putting one foot in front of the other taking steps in this Journey. And confirmation has followed.

Adoption has been something that has made my heart leap for a really long time. I can't exactly say how long, but when Zoe was very little, I ran into a girl named Julie Hedden as I was working in my booth at One of a Kind. And on her body, she wore a beautiful little 8 month old baby in a front carrier - named Emma Grace...whom she had just brought home from China. And my heart leapt. And I said to her.. "I really want to adopt one day" And as that lump welled up in my throat, with tears in my eyes, I knew that thing was in my heart. I don't know when it was birthed exactly. But it lay there.. deep down...

There have been plenty and I mean plenty of people around me who have shared a very similar passion.. Looking back I can see the people in my life that God has positioned me near who have adopted, fostered, and shared my heart for the orphan. But timing is everything. Sean and I will have been married ten years this June and if I can say anything to encourage someone's heart who is in the midst of wondering if God really plans to make sense out of all this chaos they are living in, let me say this.. O brave one.. HE DOES.. and HIS. TIMING. IS. PERFECT.

3 years ago, I was working in children's ministry at Riverstone Church and this adorable lady who had just moved to Kennesaw from Florida busted up the stairs with a China girl by her side and another on her hip and said, "I'm Tracie" and in an instant I loved her and in an instant I knew.. the Lord had brought her into my path to encourage my heart and once again, but maybe with a little more boldness I said.." I really want to adopt one day"

Now, of course I've read so many precious blogs on other's journeys to adopt, and my spirit said, "yes!" and that knot has welled up in my throat and the tears have flowed freely as the Lord has broken my heart for the orphan and the knowledge that there are at least 147 million of them out there and many aren't even available to be adopted and.. well it is all so much for one heart to bear. But the fact that we are being called is UNMISTAKEABLE. Like one friend of mine said a couple of weeks ago.. "I know you are going to adopt one day..because you have wanted to do this for a long time and the desire just isn't going away." Exactly. And that desire has been growing stronger.

So 1 year ago this month I started approaching Sean with the idea more often. And for the first time, really, he seemed more open. We attended a night called "Speak up for ONE" at Riverstone church where 3 women shared their stories of adoption.. Tracie Canter shared about International. Aimee Powell shared about Domestic, and and Leslie Allison - Foster to adopt. I share this because I can look back and see how the Lord uses different situations and moments to spur you on in your journey.. and that this is all a process. What is amazing is that the Lord sees the end result. (thankful.) Sean would say he was ok with it.. He even said, "I know you really want to do this, and I'm not going to say that we can't" But you know, that was not the answer I was really really looking for. God also identified some road blocks. We were behind in our taxes. When my eyes were opened to this, I knew that I could not really expect blessing on this process if I was not faithful to have my finances in order.

Fast forward to January. Sean is preparing to travel to Uganda with www.sixtyfeet.org to love on orphans. I was writing a check for the final balance due on the taxes. (By the grace of God.) I ask Sean what he thinks about us starting the Home Study again (oh i've started twice before :) And he is in agreement. Complete agreement. So much so that before he got on the plane, he went to have his fingerprints made at the Court house.

Now here is a cool story.. I love how dates and happenings coincide in a way that is clearly God. The day I dropped Sean and Scott Harty off at the airport I was talking with Joy. It was Jan. 15th. I told her we were stepping out in faith and wanted to adopt from Uganda. She said I needed to join the Ugandan adoption Facebook group. Well, apparently I already had requested an invite and didn't know it. When I got home from the airport that day, there was a message in my inbox from one of the arbitrators of the group. Her name was Sara Ribbens. She was asking about us to be sure we were legit to be added to the group. I wrote her back and told her that we had started our Home Study and that my husband was on a plane to Uganda with Sixty Feet. SHE writes back and tells me that she has been living in Uganda for 10 months working to finalize her adoption of a tiny girl named Nya. Not only that, but it turns out that in that very same week that followed, Sean ended up at dinner with she and her husband in Uganda. Now their story is unique, but due to some complications, it took a little bit of patience to receive legal guardianship of sweet Nya. Like 11 months worth of patience. And yesterday, on 2/9/12 exactly one month from the day that we started OUR journey, theirs culminated in unanimous favor from the Ugandan Judges. It's a beautiful story. And you can read about it here.

Yes, we have 3 beautiful, healthy children. Yes, we are busy. Yes, our hands are full. Yes, sometimes we feel overwhelmed. But then there are questions like, "What are we doing all this for?" and "If the Lord has blessed us with such extravagant love, what better way to partner with him than to open our family to someone who may NEVER know that love if we are not obedient to this calling?" And of course we know that we as a family would be the blessed ones to have the honor of being loved and called family by a Child of God that can only make their way to our doorstep through an absolute MIRACLE of God.

Just the other day our case worker called. We are more than half way through our paperwork and it is time to have our first meeting with her. We go back and forth about what day next week to meet. Sean can't do wednesday.. "How about tuesday afternoon?" I ask? " Great," she says, "I'll put you down for Tuesday, February 14th." I could not believe my ears. Valentine's day. The day that symbolizes love would be the day we have our initial meeting with our case worker to truly put this thing into action.

These days there is a new sort of lump in my throat. It is a lump of thankfulness that my precious, loving, and wise husband is on board with where we are headed. It is a lump of excitement that somewhere out there there is a child that will one day call Zoe, Henry, and Finn HER sister and brothers. And it is a lump of hope that one more orphan out there praying for a momma and a daddy will be coming home. (and Yes, we are hoping for a GIRL!)

Let the journey begin.

Zoe and I holding up mine and Sean's fingerprints on 1/31/12

Positioning Ourselves - Mephibosheth

2012-02-09T10:16:00.000-05:00

I have been completely blown away by the sweetness of the Lord in my life lately.

This past week, the Lord brought a passage of scripture in the Old Testament back to me in a new light. I've read it before, but this time it was different. It is the story about David and Mephibosheth. Have you read it lately, dear friend? Because to me this is one of the most precious little stories in the bible.

You see, David made a covenant, or should I say, "cut" a covenant with Jonathan, years before this story takes place, and in light of the fact that Saul wanted to kill David (the one who Samuel had anointed to become the next king) they vowed to protect one another and "show kindness" to each other's decedents FOREVER.

Fast forward a few years later and Saul and Jonathan were killed at the hand of the Philistines. They died a brutal death. Jonathan had a son (unbeknown to David) named Mephibosheth who was 5 years old at the time. Mephibosheth's nurse or nanny or caretaker or whatever you want to call her, was completely ignorant of the Covenant that had been made on Mephibosheth's behalf. Knowing that kings in that day commonly wanted to annihilate all decedents of the previous king, she grabbed him up and in a hurry to protect his life, she dropped him in the run, and he became lame in both feet. Mephibosheth then went on to live in hiding until what happens next.

So you see here is King David, sitting on his throne and all the dust has settled and he asks if there are ANY decedents of his best friend Jonathan to which he can show favor and kindness? And enters this Mephibosheth... lame, helpless, terrified, lonely, and living in a barren land called lo-debar. Not only that but physical deformity was a great source of shame in that day's society. He falls prostrate at the feet of King David, not having a CLUE that his father had made a way for him long before this day.

Then David completely went against cultural norm. Might I venture to say that he did something COMPLETELY "counter cultural" ? He invited this undeserving, lame, lonely, crippled man to eat at his table, and then GAVE Mephibosheth the entire inheritance of his grandfathers kingdom. He required Mephibosheths servant and all of his servants to work the land on his behalf and to provide the finest food and care for this undeserving young man. Not only that but in the passage, it reads like this:

“As for Mephibosheth,” said the king, “he shall eat at 3my table like one of the king’s sons.”
Unbelievable.
He was accepted into Davids household as a son of the king..
He was given true sonship.
Then the story ends with these words, "He was lame in both feet."

Mephibosheth is you and me dear friend. We have run from Jesus because we have no idea of the covenant made on our behalf. We have broken our feet and in our running away and hiding. We have lived in barren places. But because of the great love of our heavenly father, He has offered us true sonship.

It is interesting to me that the story ends reminding us of Mephibosheth's deformity. Why is that? Well, I know that when I remember my need for Jesus, I am way more likely to run to Him and receive all that he has for me. We can rejoice in our thorns. We have nothing to stand on. We cannot stand on our talents, good works, or accomplishments. We have been invited in and been named the son of a KING! And not only that, we have been given the gift of partnering with Him in an unshakeable kingdom.

I, with "nothing to stand on" want to remember that I am hanging on the back of Jesus, with my arms stretched around his neck. What a picture.

When I think of us positioning ourselves, what better place to be?
Lord, keep me aware of my need for you and what you have done for me and what you continue to do for me every hour of every day - raise me up to sit at your table with you and partner with you in your unshakeable kingdom.

And in the form of a prayer, humbled and on my knees, with tears streaming down, I ask this question of the Lord,

"Lord, in your perfect timing, will you open our eyes to the Mephibosheths out there in hiding that we might invite to dine at our table?"

STAY small and live LARGE!

2012-01-29T16:27:00.001-05:00

Ok, For starters, I have a couple of funny stories to share:

Would you believe that I sent my 2 year old to my friend/sitter's house ... COMMANDO? Yes, on friday, he wanted to go on his big boy potty so I took his diaper off and threw it away. We were in a rush to get the big kids to school and I put him on the step stool, washed his hands, and whoop! pulled up those pj pants on his bare buns. I dropped him off at Mrs. Tif's just like that.. yep, good ole commando! A couple hours later, through laughter and tears, she called to tell me what she had discovered. Thank goodness he hadn't baptized her house, but had kept his ~~diaper~~ pajama pants dry the entire time!

Another funny thing happened with Hen man today on the way to church. We were about 5 minutes late and I did not want to miss worship. He was slowly meandering through the parking lot, so I turned around and said curtly.. "Henry, Pick up the PACE, man!" You would have thought he would have fallen in line, and scurried hurriedly along to catch up with me, but no! ... he STOPPED RIGHT THERE and slowly looked around at the ground around him and said, "Momma...(long pause) I don't see any toothpaste on the ground!" O. M. G. "Come AAWWWNNN," I said, "I mean HURRY UP!!!"

So, that being said, I just got TIMELINE on my Facebook. Have you made the switch? I was looking back at my history and I noticed that on January 4th, I wrote this status update while sitting in the carpool line at the kids' school:

"I believe that each of us truly has a longing inside to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Something great, with a higher purpose than to bless our own already richly blessed lives. What we cannot do is look at the things God is pressing on our hearts to do through the eyes our limited energy, time, and resources. He is infinite and where He leads, He will dwell and fill all the inadequate spaces. All He needs is surrender and obedience."

And here's what I want to say about this. In my tiny, feeble, little world, I have learned that if this statement is true, if it is true in my own heart and the hearts of my family, then I believe we need to position ourselves in a way that will allow His kingdom plans and purposes to take first place in our lives.

In the past year or so, we have been discussing looking for a bigger house. Maybe one with a basement, a big back yard, and plenty of rooms for our growing family to spread out. I mean, for cryin' out loud, I'm trying to run a business up in here. And we have opened ourselves up to the very real possibility of adding to our family one day. So with the help of a dear friend and agent, in late October, we started looking at some houses. And we found one that we just loved. It was perfect for our family. In every way, absolutely perfect. And honestly in today's market, it wasn't too extravagantly priced.

We wanted that house. We really, really wanted that house. In fact, as it turns out, that home was personal to us. It was the home of a very dear friend of mine whose husband had just been transferred to Ohio. I wanted that home to be the answer for us. I also wanted us to be the answer for them. And it made perfect sense to us. Clearly God had purposed this. However neither Sean nor I could get a total peace about pursuing it further. Everything came to a screeching halt. It wasn't that the Lord said, "NO!" in a way that was super obvious. I mean, sure, we could have moved forward, bought the house, and probably been fine. And the Lord would have still blessed us. But we would not have been positioning ourselves in the way that He had so clearly spoken for us do.

We had to lay that house and all of our desires, and even our hopes to be "the answer" for our friends, at the foot of the cross and walk away. And we had to trust Him that He works all things for the good of those who love HIM and are called according to His purposes. And so we did.

The Lord says clearly in His word to "Seek first His kingdom and all of these things will be added unto us".. He also says in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"

You see, God showed us that it wasn't at all that the house was a bad thing. It is a lovely, beautiful home. It is a truly blessed home and I pray that it will be an absolute blessing to the person who closed on that home the week before Christmas :)
But we were getting ahead of God, and that gnawing feeling in our stomach told us just that. An absence of Peace is that way I can usually discern the Lord holding me back from something. How else would you explain me having a TOTAL and COMPLETE peace as I sent my beloved friend and husband off to the heart of Africa for 8 days?

The Lord simply said, "Delight yourself in ME, Seek ME, and then all your needs will be taken care of"

So we stayed small, So we could live LARGE in the peace and purposes of Jesus. And sure, things do get tight at times, but we have never been more thankful for our home. And we know ,that we know, that we know... that FOR NOW, we are exactly where we are supposed to be. And that's a good feeling.

It's funny. A friend of mine, actually a pretty new friend of mine, (one of those surprise friends that GOD drops out of the sky and lands them in your lap when you didn't even know you needed another friend) shared a very similar story on her blog yesterday. Her name is Joy. Joy's husband Scott, is who Sean traveled to Uganda with last week. And they had an amazing time literally walking in the plans and purposes of God for His dearly loved children in Uganda.

Anyway, you can read about the Harty's journey here:

http://www.thefruitfulfamily.com/

I don't know all of what God is planning. But I can tell He's always up to something big. He needs us to position ourselves in a way that says we mean business.. Seeking Him above all else. And wherever He wants us to take us for His purposes, we want to position ourselves like the bridesmaids, with their lamps on their stands. We want to be ready.

I have more to share about *POSITIONING OURSELVES* and will look forward to mentioning some practical ways to do so (even with small children) in the coming days.

And I mean, if choosing to stay in a smaller house means your husband gets to do this:

And hang out with men like this:

And visit the home of these people (which might I add is probably not any bigger than ours yet they have at least 10 kids last time I checked):

Then, I'd have to wager to say we are pretty much Livin' Large!

Growing Smaller.

2012-01-28T11:37:00.002-05:00

Here are excerpts from a post that I started on 6/12/11 and never finished:

I got off of my antidepressant drugs back in February. It was honestly a miracle. For 3 years, I was completely dependent on them, and I'll try not to elaborate for now. It happened during the snowstorm. Snow fell from the sky in giant white drifts, covering everything as far as the eye could see. We were completely snowed in for almost a week. No work, no mail, no trips the the grocery store, or Target, or anywhere. No worries, no pressure to create, or be great at anything. Neighbors who had not seen one another for months were playing in the street and having impromptu lunches of chili and cornbread.. and sharing their milk with one another! I spent a good part of the week doing this:

Yes, that is me sliding down the front yard in my North Face Parka to make me slick. I slid at night, I slid during the day, I slid in my nightgown, I slid with the kids.. on outdoor chair cushions, on cardboard box lids, on tough rubber intertubes.. Ask my neighbors. I slid, and i screamed with delight and joy.. and I forgot to take my medicine for 5 straight days. It was initiated by Him, totally a miracle.. I cannot take credit. I cannot give advice on how to wean off of drugs of any kind. All I can say is that I'm just really, really thankful.

There have been lots of benefits. For starters, I can feel again.. AND cry again - tears of pain, of sadness, and of Joy. For three years, I could not cry if I tried to. And that included the time of my sisters accident and death. Now tears flow all the time, and at the strangest times. Tears that are healing, tears that are initiated by Jesus, and flow for a purpose. That purpose sometimes unknown.

But lately I have been feeling some of my same symptoms again. Worry. Fear. Anxiety. Insecurity. Self loathing thoughts. Inadequacy. Yes. Me. Sinking. Sinking. Sinking.

For the last several weeks I have analyzed, and I have analyzed some more. I have reflected inward at the awful reality of my human-ness. And finally, I heard the voice of the One *who loves me so dearly* say.. "You took your eyes off." Just like Peter and the boat. I was looking around me at things I could not control. I was having fears about my abilities, about the future, fears of failing.

The Lord gave me a glimpse of how He saw me from His ever wise, heavenly, eternal perspective. As long as my eyes are on Jesus and I am walking toward him like Peter on the water, keeping focused on the goal which is Christ, and His sufficient grace in all things I am called to do, then even if all is not right with the world around me, I am grounded with a heavenly confidence that cannot be shaken, and I am able to soar far above the circumstances around me.

This was a very profound revelation for me. Then the Lord took me even one step further. He led me to face the possibility of all of those fears coming true. And I did. And you know what? I thought about what would happen if all of those things happened. *What If* my abilities ceased, *What If* the provision ran out, *What If* we failed? Then He showed me that my false sense of control had me thinking that all of that was dependent on me.. but in truth I AM NOTHING without Him. HE is my provision. HE is the source of my creativity. HE is our success. In HIM all things hold together. Without Him, they do not. And as long as we are walking toward Him, if all things earthly and circumstantial fall apart, We will still be ok. We can rejoice in our low position because ultimately we are fully dependent on Him at all times.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents. ¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Dear friend, what present circumstances are you in. Lift up your eyes to Jesus, the AUTHOR and FINISHER of our faith. Ask Him to give you His perspective. Chew on that which is living and active and sharper than any double edged sword.. Him who is sufficient and able to reconcile all things in His glorious cross.

UPDATE: 1/28/12:

I have much to share these days, but this post was waiting as a draft and I could not move forward without sharing this. It was such a pertinent revelation that has brought me one step further in experiencing the true freedom that only comes from hiding in Him.. I feel this is something that many of us struggle with from day to day. In fact, I often need to be reminded *every hour* of my complete and total need for Him. In fact, when we set our eyes on Him, our present circumstances become quite SMALL in the light of His eternal perspective.

Wherever you are today, allow yourself to become SMALL as you hide in Him.

Be Blessed today sweet friends.

Lately...

2011-06-14T00:05:00.001-04:00

Lately at the Kirkland household, lots has been going on..

One of us graduated from kindergarten...

Another one of us graduated from the "4 year old class"

We dedicated this little guy to the Lord before our church community at Vintage 242. Might I add that he did not sit still. He wouldn't let us hold him the whole time. And he certainly did not keep quiet!

We've been dancin'.....

Makin' a terrarium....

Drawing our own pictures of that terrarium...

And putting a live snail into the terrarium... ( I think it lived in there for quite a long time!)

We've discovered that we have a red - headed woodpecker that lives in a tree in our yard.. (and obviously eats from our bird feeder...)

We've been to a wedding...

And saw our fun cousins..

We went to the mountains...

And back to the beach..

And saw some more fun cousins.. (whom we were having so much fun with, that we forgot to take pictures!)

Now we are home for a short while... and we are so THANKFUL to be home and enjoy the little things...

Like the Hydrangeas...

And the Zinnias showing their faces..

We have 6 foot tall Sunflowers growing 5 to one stem!!

And gobs of tomatoes have arrived.. Here are 21 tomatoes growing on one stem alone!!! Now that is UNBELIEVABLE!!

We are thankful for the (VERY) busy little feet of a 4 year old boy...

And the sweet and lovable heart of a 6 year old girl.. Look at this arrangement that she made for me this morning...

Thankful for Georgia Peaches ripening in the window.....

And popsicles after supper....

On top of ALL of that...

Somebody learned to color today!

If every day could be like today.. filled with such awe and wonder at the greatness in the little things...

Lord, may I never lose the ability to see with the heart and wonder of a child.

Looking forward to what lies ahead...

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to the Lord and Praise His Name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever. His faithfulness continues through all generations." Psalm 100

People Often Wonder

2011-06-13T02:18:00.002-04:00

Sean and I at Atlanta Mart - Jan. 2009

People often wonder about my life as an artist. Well it's really a good story. Here is the short version. Well, sort of. When Sean and I first got married, I was making and painting ceramic gifts with my whimsical designs. I was selling them anywhere I could! Online, One of a Kind - a local shop, and yes, we even ventured off to some good ole craft shows. We'd set up a tent and there I would sit in the dust and the heat, peddling my wares in hopes of paying the mortgage.. and maybe even buying a week's worth of groceries. There were a couple of 4th of July shows in St. Simons where I was 6 or so months along with child. I sat there, in all of my glory, eating peach sno cones with a plastic spoon. When the baby came, we even joked about setting up a Pack N Play in the dirt and heat of "the show".. but thank goodness the grandparents came through to rescue little Zoe and take her to the pool and beach to have lots of SSI fun. Our family friend Gerry Egger always volunteered a day or two to come sit with me. We would laugh and joke at the passerby and their odd requests and questions. As depressing as it sounds, don't get me wrong. I was grateful. We had fun. It's those days that shaped us, molded us, made us who we are today. I know those days affected me, because to this day, when I go back to those moments, I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.. It's those days that taught us to trust.

Ladies perusing the tent :)

Some of my wares..

Take this day for example. It was getting close to our annual beach trip with Sean's family and there was an art show on the streets of Brunswick. So I packed up little Zoe and headed down to SSI. The week before we left, I worked really hard. I filled current orders, and I made as many little things as I could to sell.. Plates and Platters, crosses, onesies, tea towels, and tiles.. with little bible verses on them. I always threw it all together in boxes without the finishing touches. We would get to SSI around 10 pm and after unpacking, I would always sit up way past midnight putting all the finishing touches on.. like the beads, wire, ribbon, and if those shoppers were lucky, maybe a few price tags! The morning of the sale I was always exhausted. Cuts on my hands from beading.. and a cup of coffee in my hand we'd load up the ole SUV, me and dad.. That day, after we'd set up the EZ up tent on the concrete streets of Brunswick it was all of 8:45 am. It was a windy day. I set up tables, arranged my wares, and tied tiles to shutters hanging on the posts of the tent. They said things like "In Him the Islands will put their hope" This is not an exact picture of what they looked like that day, but just so you get the idea...

Mom and Dad packed up Zoe and headed back home, leaving me to man the booth. It was a slow day. By 11am, I'd say I had made about $60 and some change. That's when a great gust of wind blew over my tent.. No one else's on the street. Just mine. And all the platters and plates and crosses and bible verse imprinted tiles crashed in hundreds of pieces on the street all around me. People were aghast. They felt sorry for me.. really really sorry.

But I didn't cry. I don't know why. I guess somewhere deep inside of me I knew that I was not really depending on the sales of that day to bring me through.. to meet my needs. In my heart of hearts, I knew that I was depending on Him. It made me need Him more. I was desperate and I knew that He had to show up or else I was sunk. It's days like that that taught me to trust that He was for my good. I grabbed a broom and began to sweep those concrete streets of Brunswick.

So often when I meet people who don't really know me, or whom I've never met, they say things like.. "OMG... you're famous"... or "Don't you know, you are a local celebrity?".. Well let me just say that when I hear things like that I have to try really really hard not to laugh out loud! What they don't realize is that at any given moment, on any particular day, that is about the farthest thing from my mind. They see the Glory.. the success of my art work. What they don't see is the dirty dishes that are piled up so high in the sink that sometimes when people come over, I zip them up into giant trader joes cooler bags and toss them in the garage because I have not the time or the energy to wash them. What they don't see is my failures, my mistakes, and this girl down on her knees prayin' that she can be the momma and wife she was created to be. What many don't realize is that the fact Glory Haus is the wonderful blessing that it is can only be by the Grace of God.

Again, tears.

Molly's original vision statement, July 2008

I am completely humbled and blessed to be a part of Glory Haus. Molly and all of the people there have blessed me beyond belief. Those people are amazing. To anyone who has ever had a hand in selflessly offering their time or efforts to encourage and spur me along, I will be eternally grateful. From the beginning of her journey to start the company, Molly has journaled all about God's goodness and the way He has brought this gift to a reality. And that is exactly what it is.. a gift. It's a dream come true. But this girls dreams don't dare stop here. I dream of a life lived fully for kingdom purposes. When I am not painting my heart out for the masses, I want to be fully engaged in an effort to advance the kingdom. I want to feed the hungry, speak the love of a heavenly father into children, and bring hope in dark and despairing places.

Painting my little heart out.. or "Being an Artist" is not who I am.. It's simply what I do. Having a career as a woman doesn't mean that I've arrived. It certainly isn't easy. It doesn't mean that I have all of my needs met all the time and never have to worry another day in my life. There are constant struggles to balance work and home. There are bills, there are taxes, for cryin' out loud. I can't possibly meet all the demands and expectations that the world lays on me from day to day. The wind comes, and knocks over the tent, and all the pieces fall to the ground. Again and again. I want so badly to do everything well. But I cannot do so in my own strength. I need Jesus. Every. Single. Day. I don't want to ever depend on my career to meet my needs, or give me all the material things I've ever dreamed of. I don't want to seek after a life of comfort or live for selfish gain. I want to depend on every word that comes from the mouth of God, every morsel of manna that comes my way each morning. I don't want to give up, sell out, or get comfortable. I want to live a life worthy of the calling. This is my heart. This is who I am.

Me painting a Tennessee frame between nursing our 3rd child... No makeup. Probably not showered that day either.

"For we are His handiwork.. created in Christ Jesus for the deeds He designed in advance for us to do" Eph 2:10

What had He fashioned you to do?

The Alpha Post

2011-06-11T21:35:00.004-04:00

Well, I want to scream.

I have so much in my mind, my heart that I want to write.

But this is my very first post... my alpha post.

So I scream out with angst as I work it out.. how i want to begin this journey.

Here I sit. (on the couch under a blanket.. watching a movie with my husband.)

Excited. Nervous. Hopeful.

EXCITED. because I have been wanting to start this blog for quite some time.

Also, because I thought of the perfect name and the blog address was available.. The title is

"Eclipsed by His Glory" because that is how I see myself right now. I have always desired more of Him, less of me.. until I had the revelation that I want to be totally eclipsed by Him...

I look at my life.. the things accomplished by sheer grace from God, the dreams aspired and realized, the undeserved gifts of love I have been given (my 3 kids and 1 loving man, just to name a few!) And I know, I know that each of those things should pale in comparison to the goodness and the greatness of His Glory. Yet, in those faces, the goodness and the greatness of His glory are constantly being revealed to me. And His Joy, and His Grace, and well, other things too countless to mention.

I know that there has to be more. Because I long for the things of Him. It's walking in step with Him and His purposes that brings the truest, most fulfilling Joy to my heart and soul. It's answering to His little whispers to lay my life down, one little thing at a time, that makes me the happiest.

And I don't feel like I am at all there, walking quite in step. But I want to. I wish I could one day be walking so closely in step that if you ever were to view me walking on the other side of Jesus, my body would be completely hidden by His.... Like when the sun is fully eclipsed by the moon... I wish. maybe one day.. It's a long shot.. a lofty goal..something to shoot for.. and yet another thing that could only be accomplished by His grace.

NERVOUS...I'm nervous because I'm putting my vulnerable thoughts and life out there. I don't exactly know what all lies ahead. ( i do have a few ideas up my sleeve. ) I fear that I would say the wrong thing. I fear that I might be perceived wrong. That I might get ahead of myself. That I might lag behind. That you might see the real me.

I had one of the very first blogs here on blogger.. back in 2006 I started it. It had some great pics of my babies.. and some really funny stories. I kept it going for about a year. Then all for the sake of perfection, I deleted it. It bothered me that the pictures and posts on the blog weren't perfect in my eyes.. That others would be "seeing" the real us. I even began my battle with depression around that time that would last 3 years. (I will share that story at a later date). Ironically, now I am starting this blog, after all this time, with the intention to show my imperfection..our reality. to show the real me, the real us. To disclose our shortcomings and our daily grind... to give glory where glory is due.

HOPEFUL.. This is the start of something good. The start of the rest of our life. So much to look forward to. So much to hope for.. Even in the rough times, we will still look towards the light.. and the one who has called us is faithful and He will accomplish through us what He put us here to do... Anyway, I hope so. I really, really hope so.

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5

Laura