On Judgment.

We've all heard it... "Judge not, lest ye be judged"

Let me say that the Holy Spirit himself is an incredible teacher.
When we open our heart to Him and say "Come have your way.."
He will.

When you find yourself blessed by the very people that you have judged, it will blow a hole in your system of thinking.  It will bring a sting of tears.  I don't want to make that same mistake twice.

I've been convicted on my tendency to place judgements on individuals and people groups.
Pretty much every time I've judged, I've come to find that I was too harsh in my opinions.
And I've been gently led to repentance.  How sweet is our God.
I've had to eat words.  I've had to say that I'm sorry.

On New Year's Day, my resolution for 2012 was "not to judge others".. to "be a woman who extended grace"

On that same evening, I heard it spoken by a pastor, Rob Mc Dowell, that resolutions are rooted in human effort. That when anything is rooted in human effort it will fail.  By human power, we cannot keep our resolutions.  But what we CAN do is lay our entire lives on the altar and ask the Lord to make us into what He will.

For me that was Profound.

Since that day, I've seen breakthrough.

Lord, please make me a woman of grace, as I take hold of You daily.

Beloved.

In April of 2010, my friend Stephanie Swanson, posted on Facebook that her friends Dan and Michael were traveling to Uganda as Sixty Feet.  I was intrigued. I immediately hopped over to their website and read the story that had caused them to take action. These words stung my heart with a physical pain:


"Outside Kampala there is a place where some of these abandoned, unloved and neglected children are kept. And this is where our story begins…
Not long ago a woman was on her way out of Kampala and drove past a dilapidated old sign that read “M”: Rehabilitation Center for Children. She was drawn to learn more about the place so she turned down a long, winding dirt road until she came to the end. To her horror, she found rooms of children locked up, young kids chained to windows, and even a 10 day old, malnourished and living in her own urine. She saw hundreds of children with little food and no supervision. As horrific as this was, on that day God began a glorious story of redemption for these children."


In the months and years that have followed, I have had the joy and the privilege of following the ministry of Sixty Feet in Uganda.  Their hearts for orphan care and for pouring love and care into the people and  country of Uganda are beautiful. When I opened my heart to the faces and the stories on their blog, the faces and the stories of these children would not leave me.  I've said before and I'll say it again:

Sixty Feet has saved our lives ... by saving us from chasing the American Dream  Nightmare.  

It is because of Sixty Feet that our hearts have fallen in love with the country of Uganda.  I feel an intense love for the country and the people.  ( and I haven't even been there - YET ) I'm so thankful that I will have the opportunity to this summer.

But there are many children all over the world, like the ones that Sixty Feet ministers to,  that are not able to be adopted for one reason or another.  And the Lord is calling us to care for them.
Sixty Feet does not exist to facilitate adoptions.  They exist to love on, pray for, and support the imprisoned and abandoned children of Uganda.  They exist to get to them this most life changing message:

You. are. His BELOVED.

The Lord speaks to this in the book of Isaiah.  There are so many encouraging words and instructions for us regarding "setting the captive free"..

While Sean was in Uganda, I had the incredible privilege of painting a canvas for Sixty Feet that will be produced by Glory Haus.  This was a special time for me as the Lord revealed for me even more of his heart for the orphan, the enslaved, and the people laboring on their behalf.  There was even a moment that week where I felt completely unsure of where I was headed with this canvas. At that very moment I happened to get an email from Sean where he poured out his heart to me about what he was experiencing.  It was in that moment that I could literally feel a piece of how he felt as his life was forever affected for these children.

Here is how the canvas turned out.  It is not ready for sale yet, but a very professional printed copy will be up for auction tonight at 60 feet's film premiere BELOVED.

(photo by Christen Fortner)

Is it possible to say that I am excited about tonight?  Im terribly excited.  It's been almost 2 years since the day I was led to www.sixtyfeet.org 

The Lord has done SO MUCH.  Above all, He has transformed lives.  He has transformed lives in Uganda, but He has transformed MY LIFE, too.

You see, those behind physical bars aren't the only ones held captive.  We, too, can be held captive -

- by our sin

- our worldly desires 

- and our not knowing the freedom found in truly knowing His love for us.

As it says in Isaiah, "When you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry.."

You will find that YOU are HIS BELOVED, too.

Beginning in March, there will be more showings of BELOVED in and around the area. 

I would LOVE for you to come and learn more about this ministry and how you can be a part of it, too.

Message me if you are interested. 

laurakirkland35@gmail.com

Stepping out in Faith

Well, my heart is really full again.  Pressed down, shaken together, and running over.  One month ago yesterday (1/9/12) We formally started our Home Study to Adopt.  As I printed out the application and walked around Staples collecting some supplies for our binder and having some copies made, I was overwhelmed with the sense that I was walking in His will for our lives as I was putting one foot in front of the other taking steps in this Journey.  And confirmation has followed.

Adoption has been something that has made my heart leap for a really long time.  I can't exactly say how long, but when Zoe was very little, I ran into a girl named Julie Hedden as I was working in my booth at One of a Kind.  And on her body, she wore a beautiful little 8 month old baby in a front carrier - named Emma Grace...whom she had just brought home from China.  And my heart leapt.  And I said to her.. "I really want to adopt one day"  And as that lump welled up in my throat, with tears in my eyes, I knew that thing was in my heart.  I don't know when it was birthed exactly.  But it lay there.. deep down...

There have been plenty and I mean plenty of people around me who have shared a very similar passion.. Looking back I can see the people in my life that God has positioned me near who have adopted, fostered, and shared my heart for the orphan.  But timing is everything.  Sean and I will have been married ten years this June and if I can say anything to encourage someone's heart who is in the midst of wondering if God really plans to make sense out of all this chaos they are living in, let me say this.. O brave one.. HE DOES.. and HIS. TIMING. IS. PERFECT.

3 years ago, I was working in children's ministry at Riverstone Church and this adorable lady who had just moved to Kennesaw from Florida busted up the stairs with a China girl by her side and another on her hip and said, "I'm Tracie" and in an instant I loved her and in an instant I knew.. the Lord had brought her into my path to encourage my heart and once again, but maybe with a little more boldness I said.." I really want to adopt one day"

Now, of course I've read so many precious blogs on other's journeys to adopt, and my spirit said, "yes!" and that knot has welled up in my throat and the tears have flowed freely as the Lord has broken my heart for the orphan and the knowledge that there are at least 147 million of them out there and many aren't even available to be adopted and.. well it is all so much for one heart to bear. But the fact that we are being called is UNMISTAKEABLE.  Like one friend of mine said a couple of weeks ago.. "I know you are going to adopt one day..because you have wanted to do this for a long time and the desire just isn't going away." Exactly. And that desire has been growing stronger.

So 1 year ago this month I started approaching Sean with the idea more often.  And for the first time, really, he seemed more open.  We attended a night called "Speak up for ONE" at Riverstone church where 3 women shared their stories of adoption.. Tracie Canter shared about International.  Aimee Powell shared about Domestic, and and Leslie Allison - Foster to adopt.  I share this because I can look back and see how the Lord uses different situations and moments to spur you on in your journey.. and that this is all a process.  What is amazing is that the Lord sees the end result. (thankful.)  Sean would say he was ok with it.. He even said, "I know you really want to do this, and I'm not going to say that we can't"  But you know, that was not the answer I was really really looking for.  God also identified some road blocks.  We were behind in our taxes. When my eyes were opened to this, I knew that I could not really expect blessing on this process if I was not faithful to have my finances in order.

Fast forward to January.  Sean is preparing to travel to Uganda with www.sixtyfeet.org to love on orphans.  I was writing a check for the final balance due on the taxes.  (By the grace of God.) I ask Sean what he thinks about us starting the Home Study again (oh i've started twice before :)  And he is in agreement.  Complete agreement.  So much so that before he got on the plane, he went to have his fingerprints made at the Court house.

Now here is a cool story.. I love how dates and happenings coincide in a way that is clearly God.  The day I dropped Sean and Scott Harty off at the airport I was talking with Joy.  It was Jan. 15th.  I told her we were stepping out in faith and wanted to adopt from Uganda.  She said I needed to join the Ugandan adoption Facebook group.  Well, apparently I already had requested an invite and didn't know it.  When I got home from the airport that day, there was a message in my inbox from one of the arbitrators of the group.  Her name was Sara Ribbens.  She was asking about us to be sure we were legit to be added to the group.  I wrote her back and told her that we had started our Home Study and that my husband was on a plane to Uganda with Sixty Feet.  SHE writes back and tells me that she has been living in Uganda for 10 months working to finalize her adoption of a tiny girl named Nya.  Not only that, but it turns out that in that very same week that followed, Sean ended up at dinner with she and her husband in Uganda.  Now their story is unique, but due to some complications, it took a little bit of patience to receive legal guardianship of sweet Nya.  Like 11 months worth of patience.  And yesterday, on 2/9/12 exactly one month from the day that we started OUR journey, theirs culminated in unanimous favor from the Ugandan Judges.  It's a beautiful story. And you can read about it here. 

Yes, we have 3 beautiful, healthy children.  Yes, we are busy.  Yes, our hands are full.  Yes, sometimes we feel overwhelmed. But then there are questions like, "What are we doing all this for?" and "If the Lord has blessed us with such extravagant love, what better way to partner with him than to open our family to someone who may NEVER know that love if we are not obedient to this calling?" And of course we know that we as a family would be the blessed ones to have the honor of being loved and called family by a Child of God that can only make their way to our doorstep through an absolute MIRACLE of God.

Just the other day our case worker called.  We are more than half way through our paperwork and it is time to have our first meeting with her.  We go back and forth about what day next week to meet.  Sean can't do wednesday.. "How about tuesday afternoon?" I ask? " Great," she says, "I'll put you down for Tuesday, February 14th."  I could not believe my ears.  Valentine's day.  The day that symbolizes love would be the day we have our initial meeting with our case worker to truly put this thing into action.

These days there is a new sort of lump in my throat.  It is a lump of thankfulness that my precious, loving, and wise husband is on board with where we are headed.  It is a lump of excitement that somewhere out there there is a child that will one day call Zoe, Henry, and Finn HER sister and brothers.  And it is a lump of hope that one more orphan out there praying for a momma and a daddy will be coming home. (and Yes, we are hoping for a GIRL!)

Let the journey begin.

Zoe and I holding up mine and Sean's fingerprints on 1/31/12

Positioning Ourselves - Mephibosheth

I have been completely blown away by the sweetness of the Lord in my life lately.  


This past week, the Lord brought a passage of scripture in the Old Testament back to me in a new light. I've read it before, but this time it was different.  It is the story about David and Mephibosheth.  Have you read it lately, dear friend?  Because to me this is one of the most precious little stories in the bible.


You see, David made a covenant, or should I say, "cut" a covenant with Jonathan, years before this story takes place, and in light of the fact that Saul wanted to kill David (the one who Samuel had anointed to become the next king) they vowed to protect one another and "show kindness" to each other's decedents FOREVER.  


Fast forward a few years later and Saul and Jonathan were killed at the hand of the Philistines.  They died a brutal death.  Jonathan had a son (unbeknown to David) named Mephibosheth who was 5 years old at the time.  Mephibosheth's nurse or nanny or caretaker or whatever you want to call her, was completely ignorant of the Covenant that had been made on Mephibosheth's behalf.  Knowing that kings in that day commonly wanted to annihilate all decedents of the previous king, she grabbed him up and in a hurry to protect his life, she dropped him in the run, and he became lame in both feet.  Mephibosheth then went on to live in hiding until what happens next.


So you see here is King David, sitting on his throne and all the dust has settled and he asks if there are ANY decedents of his best friend Jonathan to  which he can show favor and kindness?  And enters this Mephibosheth... lame, helpless, terrified, lonely, and living in a barren land called lo-debar.  Not only that but physical deformity was a great source of shame in that day's society.  He falls prostrate at the feet of King David, not having a CLUE that his father had made a way for him long before this day.


Then David completely went against cultural norm.  Might I venture to say that he did something COMPLETELY "counter cultural" ?  He invited this undeserving, lame, lonely, crippled man to eat at his table, and then GAVE Mephibosheth the entire inheritance of his grandfathers kingdom.  He required Mephibosheths servant and all of his servants to work the land on his behalf and to provide the finest food and care for this undeserving young man.  Not only that but in the passage, it reads like this: 


“As for Mephibosheth,” said the king, “he shall eat at 3my table like one of the king’s sons.” 
Unbelievable.  
He was accepted into Davids household as a son of the king.. 
He was given true sonship.  
Then the story ends with these words, "He was lame in both feet."


Mephibosheth is you and me dear friend.  We have run from Jesus because we have no idea of the covenant made on our behalf.  We have broken our feet and in our running away and hiding. We have lived in barren places. But because of the great love of our heavenly father, He has offered us true sonship.  


It is interesting to me that the story ends reminding us of Mephibosheth's deformity. Why is that? Well, I know that when I remember my need for Jesus, I am way more likely to run to Him and receive all that he has for me. We can rejoice in our thorns. We have nothing to stand on.  We cannot stand on our talents, good works, or accomplishments. We have been invited in and been named the son of a KING!  And not only that, we have been given the gift of partnering with Him in an unshakeable kingdom.


I, with "nothing to stand on" want to remember that I am hanging on the back of Jesus, with my arms stretched around his neck. What a picture.  


When I think of us positioning ourselves, what better place to be?
Lord, keep me aware of my need for you and what you have done for me and what you continue to do for me every hour of every day - raise me up to sit at your table with you and partner with you in your unshakeable kingdom.


And in the form of a prayer, humbled and on my knees, with tears streaming down, I ask this question of the Lord, 


"Lord, in your perfect timing, will you open our eyes to the Mephibosheths out there in hiding that we might invite to dine at our table?"